I'm a mother of 6 and a 2nd year wolf/bear DL in Greenville, Mississippi. I use the title loosely though. Our pack did so little last year, I went to training again because I couldn't remember what I was supposed to do.
Our CM will not require much of anything from the parents, for fear of them leaving. His philosphy is "at least they're here". The boys don't have books or uniforms. The uniforms I understand as we are a pretty small, poor town. But books don't cost very much and the boys are not getting any achievements done at home. The CM confirmed that he expects me get all their achivements done in the den meetings, although the books clearly say otherwise. I am unable to do much of anything fun with the boys since we're trudging through achivements in our meeting. The CM dismissed my concerns by telling me all the things that the boys had already done. Like on the campout......they made difference stick configurations for fires, hiked, and fished. Hiking is a bear requirement, but I don't think the others are. He told me that my boys satisfied their cooking achievement because we made popcorn balls............. yeah.
A parent in my den is very angry with me, although I don't think I've ever spoken directly with her. At a campout, I expressed the opinion to the CM and other DLs (and I admit it's possible another parent or two heard) that I found it shocking that she and her son were sleeping in their suv and that I didn't think they should be doing that. I feel strongly that the boys should all participate in the same activiities, together, and that was my point. In addition to sleeping in the suv, they drove to the very nearby bathroom, the mom drove behind the rest of us to the fishing spot, and watched a movie before bed while I shooed all the rest of the boys away from their windows, back to "camping". I only became aware of her anger toward ME when the CM explained to me why she was rude to HIM over a week later during a pack discussion of Christmas activities. All this seems like such a big deal, yet the CM told me not to even appologize to her, and to just let it blow over. I believe if she's THAT angry that this issue needs to be resolved and not shoved under a rug. But I guess that would violate the CM's philosphy.
The CM and I have only resolved one issue, and that happened when he agreed to stop hitting the boys with a ruler. At least two parents had given him permission to do so, one being a relative. That is common practice in the public schools here, which is why I decided to homeschool. My son, who had the highest GPA in all of 2nd grade was threatened with the ruler once for answering a question wrong! The CM already knew my stand on that from a lengthy conversation we had about the teachers. It was explained to me by the principal as a "cultural difference". This is a bit off subject, but sheds some extra light on my dilema.
The boys miss out on a lot of things because the CM fears their parents will leave. We settle for less, just to have a larger crowd; quantity over quality The boys missed out on being in the Christmas parade because last year afterward half of the boys didn't return. I thought that was because they had a bad experience. However it is supposedly common knowledge in our pack that some parents will do that, even buying a uniform just for the parade, so that they can be seem by their friends and family, only to quit after. Sadly, that is the mentality I've found since moving here from Florida.
There is a possibility of the CM taking the SM's place next year and I let him know that I would be happy to become CM if he decides to. He and I have peacefully discussed our differences and he is aware that I would run things quite differently. I told him that if things stayed as they were, I would likely start another pack at the church my in-laws started. He basically told me not to stress over things i.e. be happy to underachieve, that I would run everyone off as CM, and not to start my own pack because it would be exactly the same since all packs pretty much are.
Am I missing something or is this all wrong? I see this as any other activity a child would be a part of. Parents pay a lot more money for many sports, yet have to adhere to far more strict rules than we are requiring our parents to comply with, and almost for free! What should I do?
Erin
Our CM will not require much of anything from the parents, for fear of them leaving. His philosphy is "at least they're here". The boys don't have books or uniforms. The uniforms I understand as we are a pretty small, poor town. But books don't cost very much and the boys are not getting any achievements done at home. The CM confirmed that he expects me get all their achivements done in the den meetings, although the books clearly say otherwise. I am unable to do much of anything fun with the boys since we're trudging through achivements in our meeting. The CM dismissed my concerns by telling me all the things that the boys had already done. Like on the campout......they made difference stick configurations for fires, hiked, and fished. Hiking is a bear requirement, but I don't think the others are. He told me that my boys satisfied their cooking achievement because we made popcorn balls............. yeah.
A parent in my den is very angry with me, although I don't think I've ever spoken directly with her. At a campout, I expressed the opinion to the CM and other DLs (and I admit it's possible another parent or two heard) that I found it shocking that she and her son were sleeping in their suv and that I didn't think they should be doing that. I feel strongly that the boys should all participate in the same activiities, together, and that was my point. In addition to sleeping in the suv, they drove to the very nearby bathroom, the mom drove behind the rest of us to the fishing spot, and watched a movie before bed while I shooed all the rest of the boys away from their windows, back to "camping". I only became aware of her anger toward ME when the CM explained to me why she was rude to HIM over a week later during a pack discussion of Christmas activities. All this seems like such a big deal, yet the CM told me not to even appologize to her, and to just let it blow over. I believe if she's THAT angry that this issue needs to be resolved and not shoved under a rug. But I guess that would violate the CM's philosphy.
The CM and I have only resolved one issue, and that happened when he agreed to stop hitting the boys with a ruler. At least two parents had given him permission to do so, one being a relative. That is common practice in the public schools here, which is why I decided to homeschool. My son, who had the highest GPA in all of 2nd grade was threatened with the ruler once for answering a question wrong! The CM already knew my stand on that from a lengthy conversation we had about the teachers. It was explained to me by the principal as a "cultural difference". This is a bit off subject, but sheds some extra light on my dilema.
The boys miss out on a lot of things because the CM fears their parents will leave. We settle for less, just to have a larger crowd; quantity over quality The boys missed out on being in the Christmas parade because last year afterward half of the boys didn't return. I thought that was because they had a bad experience. However it is supposedly common knowledge in our pack that some parents will do that, even buying a uniform just for the parade, so that they can be seem by their friends and family, only to quit after. Sadly, that is the mentality I've found since moving here from Florida.
There is a possibility of the CM taking the SM's place next year and I let him know that I would be happy to become CM if he decides to. He and I have peacefully discussed our differences and he is aware that I would run things quite differently. I told him that if things stayed as they were, I would likely start another pack at the church my in-laws started. He basically told me not to stress over things i.e. be happy to underachieve, that I would run everyone off as CM, and not to start my own pack because it would be exactly the same since all packs pretty much are.
Am I missing something or is this all wrong? I see this as any other activity a child would be a part of. Parents pay a lot more money for many sports, yet have to adhere to far more strict rules than we are requiring our parents to comply with, and almost for free! What should I do?
Erin
Give 'em a campout or two to think about it and change. Only then go to the CM or a bigger group. Just plain courtesy. Never say behind someone's back what yeh haven't said to their face. 
Comment